Shame, manipulation, force and coercion emphatically do not build character. (However well meaning; however subtle, however meant to "help us see", "help us learn", "help us grow", "help us get over ourselves", "help us deal with adversity better".) Our culture is built on the myth that human beings, left to their own devices, will be lazy, "sinful" in religious contexts, selfish and destructive. That we need external, top-down control in order to earn our right to feel we’re good people. When we are immersed in this paradigm, we can't…